Monday, February 18, 2013

You-know-me ?


Phewww... It’s been a while since I last update my blog. Lots of things happened in my life which I felt I should just keep it to myself and pray as Allah the Best Listener. You see, sometimes when you face problems in your life you really hope that the problem will not getting bigger. That’s what I felt. I felt comfortable keeping the problem to myself because this is not something I want to share in public.. not something that I want people want to know.

My mom, is always be right beside me whenever I need her. May Allah bless her always. She might not say something that I want to hear but still I can be honest with her about everything. That’s what I love about my mom. She listen to my heart, and will try her best to make me felt better.

But this time I just can’t stand anymore. I need to tell the truth which whether you want to believe it or not.

Okay straight to the point, I join an activity during this sembreak. Which I really can’t tell what is the training all about (I have my reason) . Basically is an extreme sport and mostly only guy would play it. I admit I’m the only girl during the training but still my intention is to learnt. I repeat, learnt. I want to learnt something that I really love. Something that I really wanted to do since I was a kid. It sounds like I tried to justify myself.. heh ?

There’s one person come and tell me I’m actually ‘berkhalwat’ which makes me felt so frustrating. How can you simply judge while you never been to my training place? And do you know what is the meaning of khalwat anyway ?khalwat mean men and woman that are not married ( non-Muhrim) together in a close place.
My training place is like open place it just a huge field with lots of spotlights and lots of family come and gathered there at night. I’m not going there for flirting! it just I’m so upset on how people can simply making an assumption when you doesn’t even see with your owns eyes.

This is what my mom said “what if a boss in an office call his employee which happen to be lady and asking about paper work and they both in a room. How ? Khalwat ?”

I’m sorry if I’m not showing how a good Muslimah should behave to you. I can’t please everyone. It’s up to you to judge me. If you still think that I’m berkhalwat well I just leave you with your thoughts..
All this while I was really confuse.. “damn! Am I really berkhalwat ? because I don’t really quite understand the meaning of ‘khalwat’ actually..” so yeah I started to believe that I’m actually berkhalwat. Forced to admit wrong doings.

Alhamdulillah I stopped blame myself as soon as I know what is the actual meaning of khalwat. What I’m trying to say is we need knowledge when it comes to judging. The person who criticize me need to learn to investigate before making an assumption and as for me I really have to study a lot about Islam. Don’t just simply believe what other people tell me.

I’m still going for my training as usual. This is my passion so why should I put a stop for something I love ?

What other people thinks doesn’t really matters when you know what are you doing. You know you haven’t cross the line of syariat. Then go ahead ! chase your dream.

Here, I smiling because I know exactly what I am doing.

smile !

                          ''Always trust in yourself; you know more than you think you do."

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